Loneliness.

i can't get this feeling of loneliness out of me. i try so hard to push on and become someone better. am i too messed up? i went out today and helped with the relief efforts for the bad tornado in moore ok. it felt good to be out there helping the disaster displaced families but at the same time i felt displaced myself

i lost my home, not to a natural disaster but to a disease which took away the one person in my life who meant the world to me. mom was the only one i could count on when times in my life were rough. cancer is a disease. it cannot be cured. it eats away at the heart, the organs. cancer is both physical and emotional disease. 

i wonder if i should even be here at times. i feel so sad. i feel like im a burden. that being here, both here and on the planet is just a burden to the world. i know that im depressed and grieving. i cry when im alone because nobody wants to see me when i cry. i feel as if nobody cares.

i dont know what to do.